


If Only For You

by violetstorm



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Light Angst, Wayfinder family feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetstorm/pseuds/violetstorm
Summary: Aqua's okay, she has to be, if only for Terra and Ven. She has to protect them, make sure they're okay, because they're what matters most, even if she has to suffer because of it.





	If Only For You

Terra walks away and Aqua watches him leave, an apology stuck in her throat, leaving her unable to breathe, unable to think of anything else but  _ why.  _ Why did Terra have to use the darkness? Why did she pass and he fail? Why is she a Master, and Terra not?

They spin and spin and spin around in her head, dizzying her until she’s sure she’ll collapse. She wants to run, back to Terra, tell him it’s not his fault, she doesn’t think any less of him, but she continues to follow Eraqus (leaving Terra further and further behind).

“Is everything alright, Aqua?” Eraqus asks, always aware of when something’s wrong.

“Yes, I’m okay,” Aqua says.

_ (She’s not and Eraqus knows that but he doesn’t comment on it.) _

* * *

 It’s like a game. Terra runs, Ven chases after Terra, and Aqua chases after Ven, and they’re all just running and when was the last time they moved forward together, as one? (Despite being ahead) Aqua’s always behind, arriving in worlds hours or minutes too late, Ven and Terra already having left their marks and vanished to another world.

She asks around and nobody knows where they’ve went either. The dark circles under Aqua’s eyes must have been growing more prominent, for now they return her questions with questions of their own.

“Is everything alright?” they ask and Aqua smiles, waves off their concerns.

“Everything’s fine, don’t worry. Yes, I’m okay, you have nothing to worry about.”

Darkness lingers in the worlds they’ve visited and Aqua feels less secure at night, even under the stars. She lays on her back and tries to find the constellations Ven’s told her about before, but her memory comes up with blanks, so she gives up and instead wonders if Ven and Terra are watching the same stars she is.

* * *

 She sees Terra and Ven again in Radiant Garden, but they’re not alone. She has no time to ask if they’re okay, and they don’t ask if she’s okay because the unversed is there and soon, there’s a mess of keyblades and armour and magic.

The unversed falls easily, though, under an act they’ve practiced countless times before. Aqua is the first to recover, running to their sides, already checking them over for any injury.

“Are you alright? Where are you hurt? Should I—”

“We’re  _ fine,  _ Aqua,  _ relax,”  _ Ven says with a good-natured grin and Aqua pinches his cheek.

“I was just checking. I was so worried about you guys!”

“ _ Please, _ ” Terra snorts. “You had nothing to worry about. That unversed didn’t stand a chance against all three of us.”

Ven cheers his agreement and Aqua’s heart soars at the way Terra said  _ ‘three of us’,  _ and it feels like it’s been an eternity since they last stood together. She’s giddy and laughs easily as Ven hands her and Terra those tickets to Disney Town, and it seems like everything is going back to normal.

It doesn’t.

“Terra,  _ wait!”  _ Aqua cries out. “Let me explain!” 

But he doesn’t wait. He doesn’t even look back. Ven’s eyes are trained ahead on the empty air where Terra was standing a moment before as he says, “You’re awful, Aqua.”

And Ven leaves Aqua behind, too, and she now knows what Terra felt like when she walked away as a Master without him. She sits on the edge of a fountain with only the steady sound of trickling water for company, running her fingers over her wayfinder.

* * *

 If it’s one thing all three of them share in common, it’s their stubborness. The next day, Aqua is back to her search, determination driving her forward. She doesn’t have time to mope or feel sad. She’s okay, she _has_ to be (if only if it’s for Ven and Terra).

* * *

 The next time her composure nearly breaks is when Yen Sid tells her that Eraqus is dead and Terra has something to do with it. She imagines Terra, tainted by darkness, and panic begins to set in, but Aqua wills it down almost immediately. She has other priorities. She _needs_ to find Ven and Terra _now,_ she _has_ to make sure they’re okay.

* * *

 She meets Terra in the keyblade graveyard and she’s looking at a stranger. She can’t— she refuses to believe that the Terra standing in front of her is the same Terra that’s fallen prey to the darkness and slain their master, but he _is_ and Aqua doesn’t know what to do.

Then Ven arrives, and he’s staring at the ground as he talks about a χ-blade. His eyes are shining, so Aqua tenderly cups his cheek with her hand and she tries to tell him that he’ll be okay, but he brushes both of them off as he asks his friends to kill him. _ (and that’s when Aqua realizes that she’s failed to protect Ven). _

Aqua has no time to tell Ven that that’s  _ never  _ going to happen, because Xehanort and Vanitas come and she can’t remember much of anything after that. Their armour is on and the sky turns dark and they’re fighting a war, the dusty wind seeming to cut right through her armour as she wonders if their keyblades will join the countless others laying in the dirt.

It’s all a blur, and Aqua has no time to think, only reacting with sheer primal instincts as she struggles to keep track of Terra and Ven and Terra and Ven and Terra and Ven and Terra and Ven and—

Aqua’s struck down by keyblades hundreds of years old and she has just enough time to see them leave her and go for Terra instead  _ (no not him anybody but him why him and not me—) _ before she’s laying face-down in the ground. Ven rushes to her side, but Terra’s the only thing that matters as Aqua calls out his name, sending a barrier spell towards him.

She’s bleeding and her limbs are sore, but she sees a flash of blue and the horrifying echo of keyblades, one after another, striking her barrier, but Terra’s  _ safe  _ and that’s all that matters. Ven leaves her side to rush to Terra’s aid and Aqua tries to follow, but her leg refuses to move and she’s stuck as she tries to heal her leg as fast as possible.

It’s not fast enough. She’s not fast enough. She manages to catch Ven’s eye through his broken helmet before Xehanort freezes his body and Aqua’s heart stops ( _ couldn’t protect him).  _ She catches him, moments before he touches the ground, and she’s ignoring the chill that runs through her body as she holds Ven close. She asks him if he’s okay because he  _ has  _ to be, he  _ can’t  _ not be okay, Ven,  _ please,  _ you have to be okay.

Aqua fails to protect Ven a third time when Vanitas strikes her down.

She wakes up. Ven doesn't.

_ (and it’s all her fault.) _

* * *

 She leaves Ven behind in what was once the Land of Departure, after reassuring his slumbering body that she’ll come back. He’ll be safe here. He’ll be okay here. She has no time to worry any more about him because Terra’s still out there and she needs to find him, too.

But it’s not Terra she finds, it’s some monster with golden eyes. She  _ knows  _ Terra’s in there, though, she  _ knows  _ Terra can break through whatever hold the monster has on him, so Aqua dives without a second thought into the darkness to save him and sacrifices herself without a second thought to save him because it doesn’t matter if she’s not okay, all that matters is Terra’s okay.

* * *

  _(She wanders the realm of darkness for an eternity or two but as long as Terra and Ven are okay then she’ll deal with it, she’ll manage, just for them.)_

* * *

 Aqua leaves the realm of darkness a decade later and she’s reborn. There’s no longer heartless lurking at every corner (though the feeling has yet to fade) and she’s not alone anymore (though the feeling still remains, and it’ll continue to stay until she finds Terra and Ven again).

The other keyblade wielders ask her if she’s okay, because nobody would be after surviving (because Aqua wouldn’t call it  _ living)  _ in the realm of darkness for that long. But there are other things that matter more. Xehanort’s still at large and they can’t afford to care about something as small as her in a war, so Aqua smiles and says “I’m okay.”

_ (She’s not and she won’t be until they’re reunited.) _

* * *

 And when she finally brings Terra and Ven back, Aqua can’t stop crying and hugging them because they’re here, they’re _real, they’re okay,_ and she doesn’t let go, too fearful that they’ll vanish under her grip ( _like they’ve done so many times in the realm of darkness)._ To be fair, they don’t let go either, and they’re all a mess of tears as they hug and hug and hug.

They try to worry about her and Aqua laughs because it’s not your job, it’s mine, I’m fine. She watches over them sleep and comforts them when they have their nightmares and she does everything she can to make sure they’re okay because they’re what matters most  _ (and Aqua can’t,  _ won’t  _ fail to protect them again). _

* * *

 But one day, all the keyblade wielders are training at Yen Sid’s place and Aqua hears the sound of metal against metal, hears the cry of spells and the crackling of fire, the boom of electricity. There’s a strong gust of wind and Aqua suddenly forgets that she’s supposed to be going outside to help them with their training because she’s back _there,_ at the keyblade graveyard and there’s nothing on her mind but Terra and Ven and _where are they, are they okay?_

She stumbles back inside Yen Sid’s tower as if drunk, tripping over her own feet as she heads towards their bedrooms, trying to ignore the sounds of  the war the spar going on outside. She hears somebody cry out “Blizzara!” and it takes a minute to calm her breaths down as she reminds herself that Ven’s not the target, Ven’s okay, they’re not in a battlefield, they’re  _ safe. _

But her heart ignores her mind and keeps telling her to find them to make sure they’re okay so Aqua continues her frantic search through Yen Sid’s tower. Ven’s room is the closest and when she goes inside, it’s empty, and it takes everything she has to keep from wailing. There’s a mirror inside and her reflection stares at her, then grins.

_ they’re gone they’ve left you you’re all alone you’ll never be strong enough to protect them _

Her reflection’s words cut deeper than any dagger and Aqua’s left yelling “ _ No!”  _ at something-that-is-but-isn’t-her as she leaves Ven’s room. Terra’s is just down the hall, but it seems so far and Aqua’s not sure if she can make it.

But she  _ has  _ to, despite her legs protesting with every step it doesn’t matter what she feels she  _ has  _ to find Terra and Ven she has to see if they’re okay she has to make sure that they are she can’t fail them again and she’s panicking but she can’t panic she doesn’t have time to it doesn’t matter what she feels she has to be okay she needs to be okay she can’t not be okay she’s okay she’s okay she’s  _ okay  _ she’s—

—crying when she bursts through the doors of Terra’s bedroom and they’re  _ there.  _ Aqua rushes to their side and she pulls them close, sobbing, her words but a jumbled mess. “You’re  _ alive.  _ You’re here. You’re okay. I thought— I thought—”

And their arms are around her too, Ven’s head buried in her shoulder and Terra’s hand rubbing circles on her back. Their reassurances are loud enough to be heard over Aqua’s sobs, but she still pulls them closer. When she finds her composure, Aqua breaks apart long enough to look at the both of them with a sad smile.

“Sorry, I… I just…”

Ven cuts her off with another tight hug, his blonde hair tickling Aqua’s nose and Terra engulfs them both in a bear hug. “We’re always gonna be here for you, y’know that? Remember, the three of us are always gonna be together,” Terra says.

“Yeah,” Ven confirms. “You’re not alone anymore, alright?”

Later, after Aqua’s dried off her tears, she smiles, saying something along the lines of, “The others are waiting for me. I should go.”

“Are you sure?” Ven says. “If you’re not feeling up to it—”

“No, I am. I’m fine now, thanks to you guys. I’m okay,” Aqua says. "I'm... okay."

And she  _ is  _ okay, she really is okay, they’re all okay and maybe everything will be just right.

**Author's Note:**

> Had sleeping issues and I decided to throw this together in about an hour or so. I'm not 100% in it and this isn't edited or planned out or anything like that at all so apologies in advance for mistakes and the like. This was slightly based off of an original story of mine (and I even basically c/p'd one line from my original story and pasted it here), if you need any more ideas of how lazy I was with this. Sorry again ;;;


End file.
